Seriously, why isn't there one?

Two in a row for parks I haven't visited now. Who here's familiar with Cedar Point?

Weird island. Not-so-weird park.

Cedar Point is one of the oldest operating amusement parks in the United States, and is seen by many enthusiasts as one of the best parks in the country. Its' lineup of coasters is legendary, the kind that people won't shut up about. Without a doubt, it's one of the most popular tourist destinations in the Midwest.

However, even with all its' fame and glory, it lacks one important thing: a dark ride.

Yes, I'm shocked too.

How we got here

Who doesn't love beige?

Now, Cedar Point's had a few dark rides over the years. Keyword is had. There was a pirate one that seemed to just be their version of Pirates of the Caribbean, and one themed to the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake that they bought from the famously-defunct Freedomland U.S.A.

There most famous, though, was the enclosed coaster Disaster Transport, as pictured above. It was their attempt at making their own Space Mountain, and while no one really said it was a masterpiece, it still has a cult following. Watch this to get a sense of its history.

Okay, but why not build one?

Here's why.

Some years ago, Cedar Fair actually announced a partnership with Triotech to build more dark rides at their parks, which sounded pretty interesting. However, only two were built, and we've never heard anything ever since. Of those two, I have never heard anyone talk about Wonder Mountain's Guardian at Canada's Wonderland, and the closest thing to praise I've ever heard about Voyage to the Iron Reef at Knott's Berry Farm is Some Jerk with a Camera calling it "deliciously cheesy". So if I had to guess, the rides sucked, and Cedar Fair didn't want to continue the deal.

Plus, they don't want to focus on theming at Cedar Point, they just want to build coasters that are extremely tall and fast. At least, that's what it seems. So, to figure out what to do, I did what any sane person would do...

I asked Reddit.

BONE!?!?

"Now go ahead and eat that goop, Scrooge! It'll give you the Boney's sense of humor!"

You can see the whole thing here, but I basically just asked the folks at r/rollercoasters what they would do. I got some serious answers, some not-so-serious answers, one person just wanted an indoor, air-conditioned queue (valid). But what caught my eye was multiple suggestions for a Boneville ride.

For the unaware, Boneville is a town full of animatronic skeletons you pass by when you ride the parks railroad. It's an interesting, fun concept, and a dark ride centered around them could be fun. Whether it would be a shooter or not, fun or scary, I don't know. But I know this: the line will be air-conditioned.

But what do you think? Do you agree that the park needs a dark ride, and how would you make it? Feel free to comment or ask me on Twitter at @Colonel_Colin. Until next time, keep top thrilling those dragsters!

Life's a Beach

You know what time it is, folks! It's time for Colin to talk about another park that he hasn't been to! Yet again!

I don't know how they got a beach, it's not even on Lake Michigan.

Indiana Beach is an amusement park in Monticello, Indiana. Since 1926, it has offered thrills and delight to people all over the state, with classic attractions and some unique roller coasters to keep enthusiasts interested. However, probably due to incompetency from the recently bankrupt Apex Group, the beloved park announced earlier this year that they would not reopen. At least, that's what it seemed...

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN YOU TRIED TO KILL ME BUT IM BACK

"I thought you died!" "Yeah, but I got better."

Earlier this month, the park's Facebook page was updated with this image. The only thing this can mean is that someone, some company has bought the park. I mean, the mayor of the town was offering three million dollars to anyone who would buy it, and that's a pretty tempting offer.

So, once this whole virus thing finally calms down, and then the inevitable second wave comes, and then when that calms down, the park should finally be open again. Now, if the new buyer is smart, they'll probably want to put in some new investments, adding stuff. But what should they add?

Analyze This!

I've seen forests with less wood.

Currently, Indiana Beach is home to three wooden coasters: Cornball Express, Hoosier Hurricane, and The Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain, which is a long name, yes, but it's cool. There's also two steel coasters: Steel Hawg, and Tig'rr Coaster. Yes, I spelled those correctly. My guess is that these will all stay. The woodies are all pretty unique, especially Lost Coaster, Steel Hawg opened this decade, so getting rid of it would be weird, and Tig'rr is a Schwarzkopf, and they'll have your head on a pike if you try and close one of those.

With the remaining attractions:

• Den of Lost Thieves is a dark ride that appears to need an upgrade. Sally Corp. is usually quality, so if they gave this a good refurb, they could get some magic back.
• Frankenstein's Castle is a haunted house, one that isn't only available around Halloween. That's pretty rare for parks, so it's for the best that they keep this.
• The Shafer Queen is a riverboat taking you around the lake. Nobody doesn't like riverboats.
• Various flat rides, a train, a chairlift, and a water park. So many of these rides are intertwining and interconnecting with each other, it would be a hassle to remove one, if any. So let's just keep them all for now.

So, with all of this in mind, what should we add to the park?

My Ideas for a Place I Haven't Gone To

Are you still hear, listening to my insane ramblings?

Another more family-oriented coaster may be a good idea. I mean the kind really little kids can ride. Expand your base. I think Chance Rides may be a good bet. You could even make it another weaving coaster that goes around the park, like they did with American Dream, except make the park not suck. Though if something more thrilling is preferred, that can work too.

Make sure the park is clean as possible. Boardwalk parks are associated with trashiness, and you need to avoid that. Ever read about how Disney keeps their parks clean? Do it like they do.

Also, I heard some people complain about a good taco place being shut down here? So probably bring that back. Good food equals good returns.

But what do you think? Have you been to Indiana Beach? What do you hope gets improved or added? Feel free to comment or ask me on Twitter at @Colonel_Colin. Until next time, keep on balling that corn!

(Bald man dances aggressively)

Now, you hear me usually talk about the likes of Disney or Universal on this blog, but, believe it or not, there are other amusement and theme parks in the world. I know, shocker.

I love Disney, and I've been there much more than I've been to other parks, but believe it or not, there is a major park not too far away from me: Six Flags Great America.

Home of big carousel.

So you may all be curious as to what I think of this place. Well, here are my thoughts on my local park!

The Rides

See that tall coaster? That's the best one.

Obviously, I have not been on every ride there, but I've still been on a bit of them, and they do have some good ones. For the sake of brevity, I'll just speak on some of my favorites.

Raging Bull- So far my first and only hyper-coaster, and it is very good. Most of these are just a lot of big hills, but this one is more twisty and compact. It's a breed all its own, and a masterpiece of engineering.

American Eagle- Pretty good, when you can ride it. The largest, tallest, fastest racing wooden coaster in the world doesn't always run as it should, closed for maintenance or only running one train, but still has a lot of fun in it, and I'd be pissed if it got an RMC conversion. I'm sorry, but that would take away what makes it special.

Whizzer- A small, rare Schwarzkopf model, with the only other like it in Colombia. It ain't the tallest, it ain't the fastest, but it's a Schwarzkopf, and that means it automatically kicks ass.

Oh, she's a beaut. One that I wish they made shirts for.

Justice League: Battle for Metropolis- The park's sole dark ride, and thankfully, it doesn't suck. It's more than a bit reliant on screens, but it's still generally well-made, and when there are set pieces and animatronics, they're done pretty well.

Demon- Okay, this is far from the best coaster ever. Arrow loopers generally haven't aged well. But this is the first coaster I went on that went upside-down, so it'll always have a special place in my heart because of that. Also, the theme song kicks ass.

The Food

From their website. Whatever this is, I'm sure it doesn't look as good when you buy it.

If you want a good, cheap meal at Six Flags, pack a lunch, keep it in your car, go to the park, leave around lunchtime and get your hand stamped, then eat at your car before heading back in.

This is not a joke.

I don't know if it's just because they're very deeply in debt, but Six Flags charges way too much for food. My twin sister still complains about two beers costing her $30. And no, the food is not particularly good. Just, try not to bother with it.

Merchandise

There are not a lot of good photos of their shops, so we're settling for this.

Even if the food sucks, the merch is surprisingly good. I mean, it's at least better than I thought it would be. I thought it would be not very good.

But yeah, shirts from Great America are of generally decent quality with some pretty nice designs. And they're fairly cheap, at least compared to the food. I've gotten two shirts from them so far, and they're both pretty good. I can't get pictures of them at the moment, but take my word for it. It's a good deal.

Final Thoughts

Also, this opened last year, but I didn't go on it.

Great America is one of the parks Six Flags puts the most money into, and it shows. There are definitely problems; yes, the food really is that expensive, and there a lot of crowds, though that can't really be controlled. But the ride selection is world class, with the only fault of it being that there's only one dark ride. But the coasters are great, which is probably most important, and the merch ain't half bad either. If you're in the Gurnee area, give it a shot. Just remember that you should probably pack your own lunch.

But what do you think? Have you been to Great America, and what are your thoughts? Feel free to comment or ask me at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep raging those bulls!

Indo-vation!

Folks, we saw a lot of developments in the theme park industry last year. We saw Disney open up Galaxy's Edge, Universal open Hagrid's Bad Name Coaster, Six Flags Great America got As fast as it is short, Carowinds got Da Snake, Wonderland Eurasia opened and then closed...

So young, so turkish...

But one bit of surprising news was some dark ride developments taking place in Indonesia, of all places. Now folks, you know I love a good dark ride. I love Haunted Mansion, tolerate Justice League: Battle for Metropolis, and wish I could marry Rise of the Resistance. So it surprised me when I learned that some of the most ambitious dark ride projects in Earth right now are coming from some small indoor theme parks in Southeast Asia.

Like Universal, but tiny!

A foretelling of the beast that may emerge.

Trans Studio is a chain of parks owned and operated by Trans Corp, an Indonesian conglomerate formed in 2013. They own TV channels, shopping malls, restaurants, and more. They hold a lot of power. But let's focus on the parks. Many of them are small affairs, akin to family entertainment centers, but some go a bit bigger. Namely, the ones in Cibubur and Bali.

You see, last year these brand-new parks decided that they should each have a dark ride, as most sensible parks should. But not just any standard affair; no, they wanted to go big. And did they?

Did they ever.

One of the best Mecha Animes

From that movie you loved! And that sequel you forgot about!

How they got the rights, I don't know, but they came up with something on the scale of the big-name park groups. The premise is that you're going to an exhibit about the Jaegers, some kind of lame edutainment thing, except, as always, things go horribly wrong. Except kaiju are attacking before you even get on the ride. You have to go backstage and get on a ride vehicle to escape. You then get attacked by one of the kaiju, and crash into a closed dark ride.

And now you have to go on foot.

You ever wanna walk through a kaiju corpse? No? Well tough shit.

I've been on Deviantart long enough to know where this is going...

If you want to read about what else happens, check out Escape Authority's article here. As far as I can tell, this is the first dark ride based on a Guillermo Del Toro property. Hopefully not the last either.

But that's not the only insanity they've accomplished...

Vexed Maxine: Anger Street

"GAS! GAS! GAS!"

Meanwhile, Trans Studio Bali has another dark ride, known as Road Rage: Wasteland Escape, is a thrilling ride that was almost certainly designed with Mad Max in mind, but they couldn't get the license.

Now, a lot of modern dark rides have a preshow, and you gotta keep that interesting without being too boring. So how do you make a long wait exciting?

An escape room.

"Why would there be a laminate on a postcard? Who does that?"

Yup. As part of the line, you have to solve a brief escape room in a makeshift prison cell, with hints provided by a sympathetic guard. Two different forms of immersive entertainment have made sweet, sweet love and made Road Rage.

But wait! There's more! The ride also uses live actors throughout to enhance the experience. Most rides with actors use one or two, mostly to do spiels, like The Great Movie Ride or Jaws. This one uses no less than more than half a dozen separate actors to enhance your post-apocalyptic escape.

"If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die historic on the fury road!"

Again, if you'd like even more details, check out another article by Escape Authority here.

In summation: Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.

I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't've even known this group existed 5 or 6 years ago, but they've proven that they have the design skills to pay the design bills. Keep an eye out for these guys, folks: they're going places.

So what do you think? Do you like how they're rides look and sound? Is there anything you hope they can do? Feel free to comment or ask me at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep stacking those stereos!

What in God's name is going on in New Jersey?

Now, those of you who live in North New Jersey and New York City may already be familiar with the background of American Dream Meadowlands. I've never been in that area, but I follow theme park news, so I'm familiar with what's been going on there.

Pictured: A Shitshow.

The history of American Dream is complicated, and others have likely covered it better than I could. The gist is that it's a mega-mall project that's had trouble getting finished for the better half of two decades. Parts have only begun to open recently, the first of which we'll cover, because this is a theme park blog.

What Could've Been Gold

That's... a lot of blank white walls you got there.

The Nickelodeon Universe theme park was the first part of the mall to open, sharing its' name with the original Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota. Both of these malls are owned by investment group Triple 5, so the recurring theme was expected.

This park could've had a lot going for it. Five coasters, one of which has the steepest drop in the world. Rides themed to a plethora of different characters, from our childhood all the way up to the present. And on top of it all, opening as the outdoor parks were closing for the season, meaning they could get money that would be impossible to get otherwise, thanks to its indoor vacation. This was guaranteed to print money.

As far as can be told, it hasn't. Why is that?

Full of Characters, While Lacking It

This is the Minnesota one, for comparison. Yes, I like this one more too.

The NU pictured above is just more vibrant, for one. There's a ton of trees, the floor is a blend of different colors, it's just generally bright and stimulating. The newer park just looks like the rides were shoved into a giant warehouse. It looks so much cheaper in comparison.

Some of the choices for theming are a bit weird too. I understand wanting rep for a lot of them, but it strikes me as weird that there are three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rides, and they're all themed to the show that ended before this park opened, instead of the one that is now on.

Something particularly glaring to me is the lack of any dark rides. I know that seems superfluous in comparison, but I think a good park should have at least one. It can really help with theming, and with all the properties they have, having an idea for one would've been easy. But nope.

But that's not the worst of it.

The Worst Part (Outside of No Fiery Fist-O-Pain)

Fuckin' missed opportunity.

The worst part is this.

Criminy-jim-jam.

If the link is broken, or the price has gone up even further, that is $69 (nice) for an all-access ticket, $59 for limited access, and $44 for late entry. New Yorkers are have money, but they're not all wealthy. And for reference, here's what tickets in Minnesota cost. $38, and they don't even have as much competition. Meadowlands does.

"But Colin, you snack," you say to yourself, "Can this be fixed?"

Well, yeah. Just solve the problems addressed, and they'll be a lot better. Nobody wants to go to a sparsely-decorated warehouse of rides for $69 (nice). Maybe they'll learn their lesson, and things will improve.

Then again, looking at their water park tickets, that lesson won't likely be learned soon.

But what do you think? Would you go to this park? What do you people from that area think of it? Feel free to comment, or ask me directly at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep slimin' those celebs!

REVIEW: The Imagineering Story

Given who I am, I obviously had to get a subscription to Disney+ when it was released to the public. I mean, how could I not? It has Stuck in the Suburbs AND Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings! Those are worth the admission alone!

This is some TLC kind of crap. And I love that kind of crap.

But among the original programming that was offered at launch, what grabbed my interest most of all was a six-part docuseries titled The Imagineering Story. When I learned of this, I knew that I had to watch it. And I did! Should you have a binge, now that you're locked up in your home, your TV, computer, and game consoles being some of your only direct companions? That's what I'm going to tell you.

SPOILERS FOR THE IMAGINEERING STORY

THE GOOD

Oh, Eisner. I want to punch you, then buy you a beer.

This is, without a doubt, the most definitive look at the history of the Disney parks outside of a book that you will ever find. Every park, from Disneyland to Tokyo Disneysea, gets a fair amount of time in the spotlight. We get to see footage from their development that we had never seen before, and that easily made my $70 subscription worthwhile.

The show is really something with Episodes 3 and 4. The Eisner era, if you follow the company's history, is an absolutely insane period of time, and this show does not hesitate to show the many ups and downs. What surprised me the most by far was them interviewing Michael Eisner himself. The man, the myth, the legend. God, the questions I would ask that man if I could...

And overall, the show just has a general fascination about it. All the different interviews with imagineers and park workers they have are wonderfully charming, and make me wish that I could be one even more. Stuff like Bob Gurr going to the basketball court inside the Matterhorn, Tony Baxter talking about his experiences as a kid going to the park, Kim Irvine taking her kids to see Madame Leota in The Haunted Mansion because she was played by her late mother, their grandmother. It's all so brilliant.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD

This really looks like something's about to blow up.

As much as I adore this show, there are still some issues with it. While the show's first four episodes take an honest look at both the good and the bad, analyzing their successes and mistakes, the last two, focusing on Iger's reign, are mostly just a circlejerk of "Wow, look at how great we are!". I honestly should've expected that in hindsight, but it came as a bit of a tonal shift after the first two-thirds of the show.

Also, don't expect your favorite attraction to get covered. While I was happy to see the development of things like Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, or Rise of the Resistance, there's a lot that I feel they still didn't really go into. I wanted to see some details about MuppetVision 3D, or Test Track, or Rock'N'Rollercoaster. I wish they got more coverage than a mere footnote, but I guess six episodes wasn't enough time. Maybe they'll make a sequel series at some point, but I can only hope.

FINAL VERDICT

I rode through this. It kicked ASS!

Despite a couple of issues, this might just be one of the most definitive, detailed looks at theme park development you can find. The Iwerks Company and Narrator Angela Bassett have given us a brilliant series, and if you have any kind of interest in how attractions are made, I cannot recommend this show enough. This is 100% Colin approved.

But what do you think? Have you seen the show? What are your thoughts on it? Feel free to comment, or ask me directly at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep shooting those hoops!

Let's Imagineer 4: Monoraillercoaster!

Well, I'm beginning to regret my blog topic a little right now.

As some of you may have heard, pretty much every amusement and theme park on Earth right now is either closed because of COVID-19, or has delayed their opening because of it. This means that one could argue that...

Oh, Scott. You truly are the Woz!

But in any case, I have a duty to keep making posts, and thankfully, I still have some ideas in my head. Let's take a look at one right now!

The Company Nerds Won't Shut Up About

Looking at this, you probably wouldn't even figure they make coasters.

Rocky Mountain Construction, or RMC, has made waves over the last decades for their work in the amusement industry, making extreme conversions to preexisting wooden coasters, or making their own steel-wood hybrid monstrosities. And they're talked about as much as that one weird friend you have that won't shut up about The Irishman.

But in recent years, they've come up with another, newer kind of coaster...

Look at this nonsense. You gotta love it.

The T-Rex is a model of steel coaster they've come up with that uses but a single rail, creating something that both looks incredibly refined, and is some of the most fun in the coaster world. As it's a recent development, only two have opened so far, and only two others are planned. But I can think of another place that may see a use for it...

If You Know Me, Then You Saw This Coming.

"Mono-D'OH!"

The Disney Parks- well, Anaheim, Florida, and Tokyo anyway- are famous for many things, but one of the things they're most famous for are the iconic monorails. They're sleek! They're colorful! The ones in Florida probably need a replacement or refurbishment because they've been in service too long! But in any case, they're pretty much synonymous with their resorts.

I'm sure you can put two and two together.

Coming I-Don't-Know-When...

I'm having trouble figuring out where to put it, so for now, let's just say behind Test Track and Mission: SPACE.

Get ready to step into the future, as Disney's science division invites you, yes, YOU, for the ride of a lifetime! At EPCOT, be prepared for the future of passenger rail transportation as you board the Monoraillercoaster! Sponsored by Virgin Trains USA!

It's not an EPCOT ride without a sponsorship.

As you go through the queue, you'll see the history and advancement of rail transportation, as well as the history of Disney's involvement with it. The company's top researchers have come up with an idea for a new monorail concept, one that's blazing fast and a ton of fun!

As you reach the station, you'll see the trains. While they're not enclosed, and only hold one person a row, they are undeniably Disney, taking influences from the best parts of their monorail designs.

I am no artist, and will not pretend to be one, so here's a picture from when Disneyland turned their monorails into Cars characters instead.

It's not long before your train takes off, and you reach a launch to give you a big boost of speed! Obviously, this coaster has to be indoors, and we lack the room for another really big building, so think of a similar set-up to Rock'n'Rollercoaster. But with more color! You'll zoom through simulated landscapes of Disney landmarks worldwide, twisting and inverting all the way! By the time you unload, you'll wish we all traveled like this.

Odds? Low. Potential? High.

With the current closures meaning they're losing money, as well as the IP focused direction they've been taking things recently, I know this is probably unlikely. But I think that they could do a lot with this concept, and I'm sure a lot of other people would want to see something like it.

But what do you think? Would this be a ride you'd love to see? Do you a think a Disney T-Rex should have a different theme? Feel free to comment, or talk to me at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep calling the big ones Bitey!

A Weird Obsession with No Explanation

 How many of you are familiar with the company Merlin Entertainments? If you have, then great. If you haven't, then you're probably familiar with what they own.

I'm sure at least one of these will ring a bell.

Merlin is the second largest operator in the amusement industry worldwide, just after Disney. They own every LEGOLAND and subsequent Discovery Centers, three of the biggest parks in England, a large chain of aquariums, and the only reputable wax museum chain in the world.

Though it is a legitimate question whether or not anything with wax figures could be considered reputable in normal society.

There's a lot with them that we could talk about, but today we'll focus on a recurring theme between their two of their biggest parks: Alton Towers in Staffordshire, and Thorpe Park in Chertsey.

Being Scared in an Amusement Park? Unheard of!

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"

Horror is a complicated genre. Sometimes you get a chilling story with suspense and insightful commentary, other times you get a bunch of jump scares and annoying-ass ads on YouTube. It can be utilized quite well at theme parks- a look at Halloween Horror Nights proves that- and Merlin seems to have taken that to heart. Perhaps a little too closely, though.

Now, it made sense with some rides, like Duel pictured above, or the famous first dive coaster Oblivion when it opened, but they still seem to have some kind of obsession with it, to wildly varying degrees of success.

For various reasons, The Smiler will not be included in either section because of how divisive it is. On one hand, it has the most inversions of any coaster on Earth and a brilliant ARG advertising campaign. On the other hand, it's had a lot of accidents. How good or bad it is should be decided by people who have actually ridden it, unlike this author. Or been to Alton Towers, unlike this author.

The Right Stuff

These all get a pass.

Merlin has been able to do some great horror attractions, mind you. I mean, they do own all those Dungeons, but they can do it for rides too. Saw: the Ride isn't the only creepy Gerstlauer Eurofighter on Earth, even if that superlative sounds rather narrow, but it seems well liked enough. Even more than some films from the franchise it's based off of!

Wicker Man is one of the few heavily themed wooden coasters around, and you can tell from the photo that they put effort into it. It's wild, it's immersive, it's creepy; the only thing it lacks is a large number of bees!

And Nemesis is one of the oldest Inverted coasters on Earth, sure, but it has aged like a fine wine in terms of design and looks. Over a quarter of a decade after it opened, it's still seen as one of the best coasters in the United Kingdom. So, if they made these so creepy and good, then surely the other ones are just as good, right?

R-right?

The Problem Children

"Crap. Crap. Mega-crap."

While they've had some successes, they had also had some big failures. TH13TEEN had pretty good advertising, and was getting some people hyped... and then the technical details were released, and it was outright referred to a family coaster. The coaster that they said might break people psychologically. It's pretty much always gonna have that cloud hanging over it.

I'm gonna be honest, even though it opened in 2018, I've heard jack shit about Walking Dead: the Ride. It was just a retheme of a preexisting coaster, only now there are some zombies. This one was definitely done on the cheap, mostly just taking advantage of how the coaster was already inside of a building, leading to the inevitable suggestion "Darkness is theming!". It is not.

And then we have Derren Brown's Ghost Train. Oy. Watch this if you want the whole story, but essentially, the only dark ride at Thorpe Park is a rather disjointed attraction mostly using virtual reality. There's something about fracking releasing demons, I think? It really doesn't seem to have any reason to be related to illusionist Derren Brown, aside from the Victorian carriage ride vehicle turning into a London Underground train, the one part of this ride I hear no one complain about.

But what does it all mean?

Two parks, one problem.

"But Colin, you saucy minx," you're no doubt wondering, "How can this be a problem? They still seem to be having successes.". Whether they succeed or not does not fix the fact that their big new recent attractions still seem to lean heavily around being based on horror instead of other things. You need to diversify interests if you want people to keep going and not get bored. We'll just have to see if they'll learn that lesson yet.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? Should these parks get more or less horror-themed attractions? Give me your thoughts by commenting or asking me at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep burning those effigies!

"Cool Runnings Man, Bobsled!"

Heads up: this ain't a normal segmented post. This is more me pondering on why we don't do more cool stuff.

There are a lot of different kinds of roller coasters in the world. Flying, suspended, hyper, giga, ones that go backwards, ones with brakemen, ones with a single rail...

And, of course, whatever the Roller Ball is.

But there's one kind in particular that I haven't seen many of left. One that's captivated me both when I played Rollercoaster Tycoon, and when I watched the 2006 Winter Olympics: the Bobsled coaster.

See the car? The track? Yeah, the name is fitting.

Bobsled coasters are exactly what they sound like. They're a roller coaster that works like a bobsled. I don't know if it's just me, but ever since I was a child, these things have fascinated me. "What a wonderfully unique kind of experience," I would theoretically think. "I'm sure plenty of places would want to make something like this!".

There are eight left in the world.

And one's in Blackpool? Aw, that's the New Jersey of England!

There's four in the US, one in the UK, one in France, and two in Germany. All were built either by Mack Rides or Intamin, except for one at Knoebels in Pennsylvania, which was built in-house(the park itself made it).

Now you may be asking, "Colin, you king of men, why are there so few of these still around?". Yeah, that's what I want to know.

No, I'm serious. I have no idea. I haven't heard of any major accidents involving them. And yeah, I'm sure the Intamin ones have maintenance issues, but they were built by Intamin. I sort of expect that from them at this point.

"We'll make you a masterpiece! One that keeps having accidents, but a masterpiece nonetheless!"

I'm also aware that, due to how they're constructed, they're not gonna break many records or drop many jaws. And I kinda get that, but goddammit, I like seeing more unique rides. That's one of the reasons why I love Whizzer at Six Flags Great America; it's difficult to find another coaster quite like it.

There's exactly one other coaster like this in the world, and I don't know if I'm going to Colombia anytime soon.

What about you? Do you think bobsled coasters are cool, and that more should be built? Why do you think there are so few nowadays? What kind of strange type of coaster do you want to see more of? Leave a comment here, or ask me at https://twitter.com/Colonel_Colin. Until next time, keep battling against normalcy!