Life's a Beach

You know what time it is, folks! It's time for Colin to talk about another park that he hasn't been to! Yet again!

I don't know how they got a beach, it's not even on Lake Michigan.

Indiana Beach is an amusement park in Monticello, Indiana. Since 1926, it has offered thrills and delight to people all over the state, with classic attractions and some unique roller coasters to keep enthusiasts interested. However, probably due to incompetency from the recently bankrupt Apex Group, the beloved park announced earlier this year that they would not reopen. At least, that's what it seemed...

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN YOU TRIED TO KILL ME BUT IM BACK

"I thought you died!" "Yeah, but I got better."

Earlier this month, the park's Facebook page was updated with this image. The only thing this can mean is that someone, some company has bought the park. I mean, the mayor of the town was offering three million dollars to anyone who would buy it, and that's a pretty tempting offer.

So, once this whole virus thing finally calms down, and then the inevitable second wave comes, and then when that calms down, the park should finally be open again. Now, if the new buyer is smart, they'll probably want to put in some new investments, adding stuff. But what should they add?

Analyze This!

I've seen forests with less wood.

Currently, Indiana Beach is home to three wooden coasters: Cornball Express, Hoosier Hurricane, and The Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain, which is a long name, yes, but it's cool. There's also two steel coasters: Steel Hawg, and Tig'rr Coaster. Yes, I spelled those correctly. My guess is that these will all stay. The woodies are all pretty unique, especially Lost Coaster, Steel Hawg opened this decade, so getting rid of it would be weird, and Tig'rr is a Schwarzkopf, and they'll have your head on a pike if you try and close one of those.

With the remaining attractions:

• Den of Lost Thieves is a dark ride that appears to need an upgrade. Sally Corp. is usually quality, so if they gave this a good refurb, they could get some magic back.
• Frankenstein's Castle is a haunted house, one that isn't only available around Halloween. That's pretty rare for parks, so it's for the best that they keep this.
• The Shafer Queen is a riverboat taking you around the lake. Nobody doesn't like riverboats.
• Various flat rides, a train, a chairlift, and a water park. So many of these rides are intertwining and interconnecting with each other, it would be a hassle to remove one, if any. So let's just keep them all for now.

So, with all of this in mind, what should we add to the park?

My Ideas for a Place I Haven't Gone To

Are you still hear, listening to my insane ramblings?

Another more family-oriented coaster may be a good idea. I mean the kind really little kids can ride. Expand your base. I think Chance Rides may be a good bet. You could even make it another weaving coaster that goes around the park, like they did with American Dream, except make the park not suck. Though if something more thrilling is preferred, that can work too.

Make sure the park is clean as possible. Boardwalk parks are associated with trashiness, and you need to avoid that. Ever read about how Disney keeps their parks clean? Do it like they do.

Also, I heard some people complain about a good taco place being shut down here? So probably bring that back. Good food equals good returns.

But what do you think? Have you been to Indiana Beach? What do you hope gets improved or added? Feel free to comment or ask me on Twitter at @Colonel_Colin. Until next time, keep on balling that corn!