REVIEW: The Imagineering Story

Given who I am, I obviously had to get a subscription to Disney+ when it was released to the public. I mean, how could I not? It has Stuck in the Suburbs AND Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings! Those are worth the admission alone!

This is some TLC kind of crap. And I love that kind of crap.

But among the original programming that was offered at launch, what grabbed my interest most of all was a six-part docuseries titled The Imagineering Story. When I learned of this, I knew that I had to watch it. And I did! Should you have a binge, now that you're locked up in your home, your TV, computer, and game consoles being some of your only direct companions? That's what I'm going to tell you.

SPOILERS FOR THE IMAGINEERING STORY

THE GOOD

Oh, Eisner. I want to punch you, then buy you a beer.

This is, without a doubt, the most definitive look at the history of the Disney parks outside of a book that you will ever find. Every park, from Disneyland to Tokyo Disneysea, gets a fair amount of time in the spotlight. We get to see footage from their development that we had never seen before, and that easily made my $70 subscription worthwhile.

The show is really something with Episodes 3 and 4. The Eisner era, if you follow the company's history, is an absolutely insane period of time, and this show does not hesitate to show the many ups and downs. What surprised me the most by far was them interviewing Michael Eisner himself. The man, the myth, the legend. God, the questions I would ask that man if I could...

And overall, the show just has a general fascination about it. All the different interviews with imagineers and park workers they have are wonderfully charming, and make me wish that I could be one even more. Stuff like Bob Gurr going to the basketball court inside the Matterhorn, Tony Baxter talking about his experiences as a kid going to the park, Kim Irvine taking her kids to see Madame Leota in The Haunted Mansion because she was played by her late mother, their grandmother. It's all so brilliant.

THE NOT-SO-GOOD

This really looks like something's about to blow up.

As much as I adore this show, there are still some issues with it. While the show's first four episodes take an honest look at both the good and the bad, analyzing their successes and mistakes, the last two, focusing on Iger's reign, are mostly just a circlejerk of "Wow, look at how great we are!". I honestly should've expected that in hindsight, but it came as a bit of a tonal shift after the first two-thirds of the show.

Also, don't expect your favorite attraction to get covered. While I was happy to see the development of things like Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, or Rise of the Resistance, there's a lot that I feel they still didn't really go into. I wanted to see some details about MuppetVision 3D, or Test Track, or Rock'N'Rollercoaster. I wish they got more coverage than a mere footnote, but I guess six episodes wasn't enough time. Maybe they'll make a sequel series at some point, but I can only hope.

FINAL VERDICT

I rode through this. It kicked ASS!

Despite a couple of issues, this might just be one of the most definitive, detailed looks at theme park development you can find. The Iwerks Company and Narrator Angela Bassett have given us a brilliant series, and if you have any kind of interest in how attractions are made, I cannot recommend this show enough. This is 100% Colin approved.

But what do you think? Have you seen the show? What are your thoughts on it? Feel free to comment, or ask me directly at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep shooting those hoops!

Let's Imagineer 4: Monoraillercoaster!

Well, I'm beginning to regret my blog topic a little right now.

As some of you may have heard, pretty much every amusement and theme park on Earth right now is either closed because of COVID-19, or has delayed their opening because of it. This means that one could argue that...

Oh, Scott. You truly are the Woz!

But in any case, I have a duty to keep making posts, and thankfully, I still have some ideas in my head. Let's take a look at one right now!

The Company Nerds Won't Shut Up About

Looking at this, you probably wouldn't even figure they make coasters.

Rocky Mountain Construction, or RMC, has made waves over the last decades for their work in the amusement industry, making extreme conversions to preexisting wooden coasters, or making their own steel-wood hybrid monstrosities. And they're talked about as much as that one weird friend you have that won't shut up about The Irishman.

But in recent years, they've come up with another, newer kind of coaster...

Look at this nonsense. You gotta love it.

The T-Rex is a model of steel coaster they've come up with that uses but a single rail, creating something that both looks incredibly refined, and is some of the most fun in the coaster world. As it's a recent development, only two have opened so far, and only two others are planned. But I can think of another place that may see a use for it...

If You Know Me, Then You Saw This Coming.

"Mono-D'OH!"

The Disney Parks- well, Anaheim, Florida, and Tokyo anyway- are famous for many things, but one of the things they're most famous for are the iconic monorails. They're sleek! They're colorful! The ones in Florida probably need a replacement or refurbishment because they've been in service too long! But in any case, they're pretty much synonymous with their resorts.

I'm sure you can put two and two together.

Coming I-Don't-Know-When...

I'm having trouble figuring out where to put it, so for now, let's just say behind Test Track and Mission: SPACE.

Get ready to step into the future, as Disney's science division invites you, yes, YOU, for the ride of a lifetime! At EPCOT, be prepared for the future of passenger rail transportation as you board the Monoraillercoaster! Sponsored by Virgin Trains USA!

It's not an EPCOT ride without a sponsorship.

As you go through the queue, you'll see the history and advancement of rail transportation, as well as the history of Disney's involvement with it. The company's top researchers have come up with an idea for a new monorail concept, one that's blazing fast and a ton of fun!

As you reach the station, you'll see the trains. While they're not enclosed, and only hold one person a row, they are undeniably Disney, taking influences from the best parts of their monorail designs.

I am no artist, and will not pretend to be one, so here's a picture from when Disneyland turned their monorails into Cars characters instead.

It's not long before your train takes off, and you reach a launch to give you a big boost of speed! Obviously, this coaster has to be indoors, and we lack the room for another really big building, so think of a similar set-up to Rock'n'Rollercoaster. But with more color! You'll zoom through simulated landscapes of Disney landmarks worldwide, twisting and inverting all the way! By the time you unload, you'll wish we all traveled like this.

Odds? Low. Potential? High.

With the current closures meaning they're losing money, as well as the IP focused direction they've been taking things recently, I know this is probably unlikely. But I think that they could do a lot with this concept, and I'm sure a lot of other people would want to see something like it.

But what do you think? Would this be a ride you'd love to see? Do you a think a Disney T-Rex should have a different theme? Feel free to comment, or talk to me at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep calling the big ones Bitey!

A Weird Obsession with No Explanation

 How many of you are familiar with the company Merlin Entertainments? If you have, then great. If you haven't, then you're probably familiar with what they own.

I'm sure at least one of these will ring a bell.

Merlin is the second largest operator in the amusement industry worldwide, just after Disney. They own every LEGOLAND and subsequent Discovery Centers, three of the biggest parks in England, a large chain of aquariums, and the only reputable wax museum chain in the world.

Though it is a legitimate question whether or not anything with wax figures could be considered reputable in normal society.

There's a lot with them that we could talk about, but today we'll focus on a recurring theme between their two of their biggest parks: Alton Towers in Staffordshire, and Thorpe Park in Chertsey.

Being Scared in an Amusement Park? Unheard of!

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"

Horror is a complicated genre. Sometimes you get a chilling story with suspense and insightful commentary, other times you get a bunch of jump scares and annoying-ass ads on YouTube. It can be utilized quite well at theme parks- a look at Halloween Horror Nights proves that- and Merlin seems to have taken that to heart. Perhaps a little too closely, though.

Now, it made sense with some rides, like Duel pictured above, or the famous first dive coaster Oblivion when it opened, but they still seem to have some kind of obsession with it, to wildly varying degrees of success.

For various reasons, The Smiler will not be included in either section because of how divisive it is. On one hand, it has the most inversions of any coaster on Earth and a brilliant ARG advertising campaign. On the other hand, it's had a lot of accidents. How good or bad it is should be decided by people who have actually ridden it, unlike this author. Or been to Alton Towers, unlike this author.

The Right Stuff

These all get a pass.

Merlin has been able to do some great horror attractions, mind you. I mean, they do own all those Dungeons, but they can do it for rides too. Saw: the Ride isn't the only creepy Gerstlauer Eurofighter on Earth, even if that superlative sounds rather narrow, but it seems well liked enough. Even more than some films from the franchise it's based off of!

Wicker Man is one of the few heavily themed wooden coasters around, and you can tell from the photo that they put effort into it. It's wild, it's immersive, it's creepy; the only thing it lacks is a large number of bees!

And Nemesis is one of the oldest Inverted coasters on Earth, sure, but it has aged like a fine wine in terms of design and looks. Over a quarter of a decade after it opened, it's still seen as one of the best coasters in the United Kingdom. So, if they made these so creepy and good, then surely the other ones are just as good, right?

R-right?

The Problem Children

"Crap. Crap. Mega-crap."

While they've had some successes, they had also had some big failures. TH13TEEN had pretty good advertising, and was getting some people hyped... and then the technical details were released, and it was outright referred to a family coaster. The coaster that they said might break people psychologically. It's pretty much always gonna have that cloud hanging over it.

I'm gonna be honest, even though it opened in 2018, I've heard jack shit about Walking Dead: the Ride. It was just a retheme of a preexisting coaster, only now there are some zombies. This one was definitely done on the cheap, mostly just taking advantage of how the coaster was already inside of a building, leading to the inevitable suggestion "Darkness is theming!". It is not.

And then we have Derren Brown's Ghost Train. Oy. Watch this if you want the whole story, but essentially, the only dark ride at Thorpe Park is a rather disjointed attraction mostly using virtual reality. There's something about fracking releasing demons, I think? It really doesn't seem to have any reason to be related to illusionist Derren Brown, aside from the Victorian carriage ride vehicle turning into a London Underground train, the one part of this ride I hear no one complain about.

But what does it all mean?

Two parks, one problem.

"But Colin, you saucy minx," you're no doubt wondering, "How can this be a problem? They still seem to be having successes.". Whether they succeed or not does not fix the fact that their big new recent attractions still seem to lean heavily around being based on horror instead of other things. You need to diversify interests if you want people to keep going and not get bored. We'll just have to see if they'll learn that lesson yet.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? Should these parks get more or less horror-themed attractions? Give me your thoughts by commenting or asking me at @Colonel_Colin on Twitter. Until next time, keep burning those effigies!