Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds, you made a fool out of you, and boy she's bringing you down!

Ah, rumors. There's always some circling about in the theme park community. Something's gonna open, something else is gonna close, CEO x of y is resigning because of z. And there's quite a number circling about right now, so, I thought I should address some of them and offer my thoughts. They could be true, they could be false. We'll just have to wait and see.

Stitch gets kicked, Ralph rolls in

This is to theme parks what New Coke is to Coca-Cola.

So, some backstory is needed. Stitch's Great Escape! is an attraction at Magic Kingdom. It replaced the much beloved ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, a straight-up horror attraction with a teleportation demonstration gone wrong, resulting in your neck getting breathed on hard by a terrifying alien and a mechanic on the catwalk above being gored, as you feel blood rain down.

Naturally, parents brought their kids on this anyway, and complained when their kids got scared.

They replaced it with an attraction about that lovable rapscallion from Lilo and Stitch, which is both too scary for kids and too dull for teens and adults. And as of recent soft openings, it's not even Disney's best attraction about blue aliens (That's an Pandora: World of Avatar joke by the way). However, last year, the ride was put on seasonal operation (Meaning it's now only open when massive crowds are visiting), often a death knell for attractions. The rumor going around is that it will be replaced by a virtual reality racing attraction based on the 2012 film Wreck-It Ralph, possibly because of the imminent release of the oddly-named sequel.

I would've gone with Electric Boogaloo, but hey, that's just me.

Nothing is confirmed yet, but given how reviled Stitch's Great Escape! is, well, I wouldn't be surprised if it does happen.

Go get yourself to a gondola!

No, the other kind.

No, the other other kind.

There ya go!

This one is practically all but confirmed at this point. In preparation for the opening of a new land based on Star Wars at Disney's Hollywood Studios, Disney has filed permits to construct what appears to be an aerial tramway between Studios, Epcot, and several nearby hotels. They might have chosen this system as a throwback to the beloved Skyway that used to operate in Anaheim, Lake Buena Vista, and Tokyo.

Man, I've been talking about extinct attractions a lot today.

Again, though, this rumor is practically true at this point, to the point where we even know the company building it: Swiss manufacturer Doppelmayr, who also worked on the Hogwarts Express ride at Universal Studios. Disney still won't confirm anything just yet, though. Odds are, they're waiting until their biennial fan convention D23, due to be held this summer. I would love to report live from there. Don't think I can convince my parents though.

There's also rumors going about that they may also build an automated shuttle system, though less is known about that. I'll try to provide updates when more information becomes available.

It's Always Sunny in the Forbidden Forest

HARYDIDJUHPUYURNAMEINTHGOBLEOFIRE?!?!?!

Universal struck gold in 2010 when they opened up The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, finally giving them something that allowed them to really compete against Disney. And if that didn't make them enough money, the expansion that included a recreation of Diagon Alley and the Hogwarts Express. Now little birdies are saying they might build a large scale dark ride by the Hogsmeade section, where the Dragon Challenge roller coasters currently are.

Previously known by its' much cooler name, Dueling Dragons.

The dueling inverted coasters have become less popular after they removed their best element- running both trains at the same time- thanks to some, uh, unfortunate accidents. As for the ride, it's thought to be either a ride that takes place in the Forbidden Forest, or a ride themed to the beloved textbook-turned-movie, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The Harry Potter franchise is usually what Universal advertises most (Despite Harry Potter being owned by Warner Brothers), so them wanting to expand even further on that makes plenty of sense.

(Lana Del Rey voice) Playing Video Games...

What's next? Team Fortress 2- The Ride? Overwatch Stunt Spectacular? A Master Chief meet and greet? A complete recreation of Midgar from Final Fantasy VII? Actually, those all sound awesome.

Many were pleasantly surprised to learn that Universal and Nintendo would be partnering up to build attractions at the Japan, Hollywood, and Orlando parks. But where will these new attractions be placed? For Orlando at least, experts are theorizing that they might place it where Woody Woodpecker's Kidzone is currently. There just aren't enough kids these days who are familiar with An American Tail or Woody Woodpecker, although it's not as if Universal has been trying to keep those properties relevant.

But... I've also heard that Universal may not be able to get rid of the E.T. Adventure dark ride. Aside from it being the only ride left from when the park first opened, it was a passion project for Steven Spielberg. And ol' Stevie was allegedly not too happy when the E.T. rides closed at Hollywood and Japan. So unhappy, he said that if they closed the Orlando ride, he would sever ties with the company. And Universal without Jurassic Park is like the U.S. auto industry without heavy corruption. It just seems wrong.

Again, that's just a theory, and they can often be false. But they can still be true. And if that is true, I don't know where Universal would put the land, and the inevitable Mario Kart go-carts.

I want this to be real. It needs to be real.

So, I don't know where it would be built. Unless, of course, Universal followed through on the rumor...

One of the biggest rumors of them all...

THE THIRD PARK.

To be continued...