Let's Imagineer 1: Tiny Tunnel Trains!

Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a while, etcetera, etcetera, whatever. This time we're doing something different though; I'm going to design a new type of attraction by myself. So let's these creative juices a-flowing like beer at Oktoberfest!

A lot has happened since I last posted. I've been to Six Flags Great America, the Hyde Park Winter Wonderland, and Walt Disney World. And it's all been great. Remember the inverted hairpin coaster from Rollercoaster Tycoon? I went on that!

How much does it swing? However much you think it does, it's more than that.

One thing I've done that's really piqued my interest was the London Postal Museum. Trust me, it's cooler than it sounds. But one of the best parts of the museum is the Mail Rail. Years ago, London had a system of tiny trains that carried mail across the city. For the museum, a small section of the system was reopened, with trains built to carry people instead of mail. On your ride, they tell the story of the system using narrations and projections, showing you the importance of getting the mail from Point A to Point B.

It's fun! Unless you're claustrophobic. It gets tight. But otherwise, fun!

And this gave me an idea. The kind of idea that could make a lot of money, which is the best kind of idea! Simply put, we make one of those in Chicago. "But Colin, you sexy devil", you're definitely saying, "Chicago doesn't have a series of abandoned tunnels with narrow gauge track!". Well clearly YOU didn't get a B- in Chicago History!

It's the CTC, See?

OH GOD, IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US!

The Chicago Tunnel Company was an expansive narrow gauge railway running underneath the city of Chicago, carrying freight and goods between different businesses. It also carried coal, debris, and mail. Hell, it's what inspired London to build the Mail Rail in the first place!

It's fun! Unless you're claustropho- wait, I did this already...

Nowadays, some tunnels have filled with concrete, in order to prevent flooding. But I bet my minuscule credibility as a blogger of themed entertainment to say that some of those tunnels are still around. So, let's finally get to imagineering!

Coming soon to Chicago, Welcome to the new and improved Chicago Tunnel Experience!

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the heart of the greatest city on Earth! Our exact location? I don't know, some place not currently being used... how about that hole over there?

Chicago In-Joke!

I present to you a tourist attraction so grand, so immersive, so fucking spectacular, that it'll make everything else you've done in your life pale in comparison! You'll enter into a small museum on the early days of the city of Chicago, mostly covering the 19th century. You'll then end up in a second section detailing the Chicago Tunnel Company, a wonderful little network of trains that ran about under the city.

If vehicles were people, than this would definitely be a person. (Taken from www.thetrolleydodger.com)

The central point of the exhibit is Number 508, the last remaining original engine from the line, discovered during excavations on Lake Shore Drive. It's on loan from the Illinois Railway Museum, which is conveniently located in the middle of nowhere- I mean, Union.

But for you visitors today, we have a special treat! We've managed to get access into these heavily-restricted tunnels to give you a tour of Chicago's history, through the power of TIME TRAVEL!

Example of time travel, for those confused.

You and the other guests proceed to board a replica of the previously shown train, with specially built coaches to carry you. We roll off into to the tunnels, and flip that time switch!

Welcome to the 1900's! Through projections on the tunnel walls, we show off the Chicago of the past. Streets are jammed with horse carriages and streetcars, businesses boom, and the buildings are getting taller and taller! It's a bit crowded, so let's jump ahead to...

The 1920's! Buildings are taller still! The economy is great, and it's never going to fail! Jazz is on the rise, and Chicago is the epicenter of a bold, new genre of music! Automobiles are speeding down the street, moving pictures play for thousands, the Mob is running illegal booze, the mob sees us, the mob are aiming tommyguns at us, we better go, skip ahead further this time...

It's the 1950's now. Things are heating up! Chicago is the largest railroad hub on Earth, highways have begun construction, and everybody's marrying each other! Rock music has started, and it's pretty good! Let's move a bit more forward...

We're in the groovy 1960's, and few things are hipper than standing up for what you believe in. As The Beatles on the radio and Marina City stands tall, brave men and women protest the war and argue for peace. Ideas that shouldn't be controversial, but they were. Let's move on to...

The 1980's! Mayor Harold Washington strives to improve the city and bring people back to live here. Technology is getting better and better, and the Sears Tower lords over as the tallest building on Earth! Where could we possibly go from here... I know! Let's just flip this time travel switch to MAX!

Pretend this is future Chicago, not Cyberpunk 2077.

It's future Chicago! The El moves at 200 miles an hour! Deep Dish Pizza can be 3D-printed! The aldermen are robots! They're still corrupt, but they're robots! Life is truly amazing! But alas, we must return to the present. Our little time train putters back into the museum, where you can have a photo op and grab something from the gift shop. Remember to tell your friends to stop by the Chicago Tunnel Experience!

Back to normal talking now.

This attraction has the potential to bring in thousands upon thousands of people into the city, as a new must-do for visitors and residents alike. And there's plenty of other ideas on what could be done with it! "But the location-" The Spire isn't going to happen guys, sorry. I know, I'm disappointed too.

But what do you think? Tell me on Twitter at @Colonel_Colin. Until then, I'll see you all around. Oh, and this isn't the only idea I have to build; some involve theme parks more. So watch out for that! Goodbye!