Dubai: wait, they're doing what now?

There were many interesting developments that took place in 2016 in the theme and amusement park industry. Shanghai Disneyland opened in China, Universal Hollywood got a Hogsmeade expansion, and SeaWorld announced that they would stop breeding killer whales, among other stories.

It'd be better if people visiting didn't poop in the bushes, but that's another story.

But one of the most interesting developments took place in the Dubai, which saw the opening of not one, not two, not even three, but four different theme parks. IMG Worlds of Adventure usurped nearby Ferrari World as the world's biggest indoor theme park, covering over 1.5 million square feet, with lands based off of Marvel, Cartoon Network, and Random Dinosaurs, look, we ran out of licenses, okay?.

Man, did every park get a Marvel ride before Disney?

Meanwhile Dubai Parks and Resorts opened with three major theme parks: Legoland Dubai, Bollywood Park Dubai, and Motiongate Dubai. The latter park includes attractions based on films by studios such as Lionsgate, Sony Pictures, and Dreamworks.

Now, you can finally live out your dream of getting murdered by teenagers who look like they're in their twenties!

These parks are proclaiming themselves to be the biggest, newest entertainment destinations in the Middle East, anticipating large crowds both local and international.

Big problem: they're not that great. Already, there are some pretty empty parking lots.

There aren't too may 'innovative' rides, and some look like they had barely any effort put into them whatsoever. They barely even use any animatronics; most of their dark rides use either screens or unmoving statues and models of characters. Apparently, they didn't have it in the budget for mouths that move.

But these aren't even the last parks coming to this country, oh no. Not only are a Six Flags, a 20th Century Fox park, and a Warner Brothers park under construction, but IMG is slated to get a major expansion already, with areas and attractions based off of Power Rangers, Nickelodeon, Ubisoft, Mattel, and way more than they can probably afford.

My God, so many franchises! It's like a terrible fanfiction!

But there's something really important to note throughout all of this: History repeats.

Now, odds are you only know what I mean if you know a lot about theme and amusement parks. As in, you knew what Six Flags Power Plant was before I mentioned it.

The Dubailand project was, and technically still is, an ambitious plan that spanned all kinds of parks, resorts, and attractions, and a lot of it straight up tanked. The Marvel and Dreamworks lands at IMG and Motiongate?  They were going to get their own parks, which ended up cancelled, along with a Formula 1 theme park and a Universal Studios. The bubble burst. They flew too close to the sun. Some other third metaphor regarding failure. And when the most finished of these new parks is Legoland, then you know it's a bad sign.

I mean, Legoland is never bad, but it's never really the reason you go someplace.

Has Dubai finally gotten the park formula right? Or is tourism in the Middle East just not strong enough to support this many parks? Stay tuned for the next several years!

Insert Admiral Ackbar Quote Here!

Today, I'd like to talk about something that, while not necessarily connected to theme parks, is still a famous (or infamous) part of tourism: the lowly, humble tourist trap.

These things can pop up practically overnight, usually in an area with famous natural or artificial splendor. There can be areas full of them, possibly marked by a Hard Rock Cafe, Ripley's Believe It or Not!, or both. They're usually just meant to be a way to make a quick buck off unsuspecting, pea-brained tourists such as you and I. And they can be quite successful.

For instance, this one in Oregon got two seasons of one of the most critically acclaimed animated series of this century.

Heck, some can go from a tourist trap into something much bigger. Walter and Cordelia Knott built a replica ghost town for their chicken restaurant, which they built for people visiting their berry farm. Now Knott's Berry Farm is one of the most famous theme parks in the country. So, I thought it best to discuss some notable places with tourist traps that I have or haven't visited, and see just what makes them special.

Clifton Hill: Niagara Falls, Canada

Well, why else are you in Niagara Falls? To see Niagara Falls? Nerd!

I visited Clifton Hill a few years ago, and it is, essentially, the modern-day equivalent of kitsch. Right next to one of the most famous natural wonders on Earth is a plethora of attractions that have no relation to one of the most famous natural wonders on Earth, including an observation wheel, arcade with shooter dark ride, several Ripley's attractions, mini golf courses, a World Record museum, what appeared to be a Lego train layout you had to pay to see (I wish I could've), a haunted house, a wax museum, and so forth.

Is it cheesy? Yes. Does it have a negative effect on all the natural splendor? Again, yes. Is it fun as hell? Refer to the previous two answers.

Much of Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin

BECOME ONE WITH WATER! ALL HAIL TUBEY!

I've been here a number of times throughout my life, and it's always been pretty fun. The self-proclaimed "water park capital of the world" is best known for, well, water parks. Of course, there's also the beautiful Lake Delton, many resort hotels (I usually stayed at the Wilderness), and plenty of different weird things to do, from amusement parks to outlet mall shopping.

My personal recommendation is the Riverside and Great Northern Railway, a miniature railroad going through the woods. It sounds odd, I know, but it's also very cool.

Wall Drug, Wall, South Dakota

Beat this, CVS!

Wall Drug owes some of its fame for signs all around the world, from Antarctica to Afghanistan, listing how far it is. It's probably the most famous non-national park attraction in South Dakota. I went here some years ago, and while we mostly just got their famous free ice water, it's still one of the most unusual locations I've had the pleasure of visiting. Truth be told, I can't think of many other drug stores that include a chapel, shooting range, and pharmacy museum.

Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Nestled in the Smoky Mountains, these two towns owe part of their tourism to not only the mountains themselves, but also nearby theme park Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, because let's face it, we all want to be famous enough to own a theme park named after us. For those reasons, the towns are covered in random kinds of attractions, including some weird ones.

For instance, Jurassic Jungle Boat Ride, which from what I've seen is kinda like Dinosaur from Disney's Animal Kingdom, except A) It's on a boat and B) it's terrible. And there's also The Coaster at Goats on the Roof (That's the full name by the way), which is different from other alpine coasters by having goats on the roof of a building. That's its main selling point. 

There's an earthquake ride, a collection of dioramas depicting the life of Jesus, a salt and pepper museum, and enough other oddities in this town that you would probably need a whole trip just to see them all, rather than just stopping overnight on your way to Myrtle Beach, like my family would do. But, I suppose that's tourist traps for you. They might not always grab your attention, but when they do, you may as well consider yourself trapped!

Yeah, I... yeah, that was terrible.

Screens in Rides: Are they really that necessary?

Before I get started, I thought it best that I mention: I'm a huge fan of theme parks. I take them very seriously. Not many people think that they can be an art form, but believe me, they can be. Hopefully, I will be able to prove this in my posts.

Now, as this is my first post for this blog, I figured I would tie it in to the most recent attraction opening from a major theme park: Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon at Universal Studios Orlando.

Personally, I would have rather had a Conan ride.

There's plenty to be said about this ride already (Best said here by park-humor website Parkeology), but with this ride opening, a question should be asked: do modern theme park rides rely too much on screens?

In recent years, the number of rides and attractions using screens and films as a central part of the action has dramatically increased. Originally, screens were exclusively used by motion simulators and 3D & 4D movies (at least, before you cold experience 3D movies in literally any movie theater). The first major 3D theme park movie, to my knowledge, was The Sensorium, built for the ill-fated, short-lived Six Flags Power Plant in Baltimore, Maryland.

If you want to learn what this was, and why it failed, then browse the articles here at Theme Park University.

While Power Plant was only open for four years, The Sensorium still ended up being really popular. And while that film has fallen into relative obscurity, the first major motion simulator for a theme park hasn't.

I only went on the original once, and I still absolutely adored it.

Star Tours officially opened in 1987, and changed the theme park industry forever. Now, motion simulators are incredibly common, and at least one can be found at most major theme parks. Universal especially has adopted this technology. In the two Orlando parks, 9 rides have heavy usage of screens, either moving between them or sitting in front of them. And their upcoming ride, Fast & Furious: Supercharged, is also supposed to rely heavily on screens. And that's without mentioning the Terminator and Shrek shows, which are 3D/4D films.

So, why are screens in rides so popular now? I think I know the answer.

Three words: They. Are. Cheap.

Classic theme park rides, such as The Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Jungle Cruise use many set pieces, props, and audio-animatronics as part of their storytelling. Rides like those are still built today, but they can be quite expensive and take a long time to build. Companies like Sim-Ex Iwerks have a literal catalog of simulator films to download and put into a motion simulator. They're easier to make, cheap to build, cheap to maintain, and can be constructed in a short time.

But with that, people lose sight of what labors of love the classic rides are.

All the effort put in, all the little details, these rides just leave more of an impact. Disney still understands that there's a balance between screens and sets with animatronics. The new Pirates of the Caribbean - Battle for the Sunken Treasure at Shanghai Disneyland uses both to great effect, as shown here. There's a reason that it won a Thea award 5 months after it opened.

There is a balance. One can only hope that other parks realize this too.